As long as I could remember I wanted to be an artist, not just the painting kind, but the creative kind that could do everything that I set my mind to.
As long as I could remember I've always thought that I'm not artistic or creative. I can't paint like some of my artsy friends, I can't collage like them or even photograph like them. Nothing I do seems to come out like the beautiful things I see on blogs, in magazines and Instagram.
About 8 or so years ago I remember having a conversation with my sister-in-law about going to school and choosing a career. She pushed to do into accounting, I hated math. She suggested becoming a nurse, yeah... not my thing at all! She went on to list some other paths I should take. I think I told her I wanted to be a singer, actress and a model because I didn't dare to thinks I was creative enough to be an artist. She laughed at me and continued to scold me for my foolish thoughts.
She was right. Me, an actress? I'd starve to death. Model? Cute little petite girls aren't models and have you heard me sing?! Those career choice were duds and I knew it.
I couldn't do the artist thing even though I yearned to do it. Everything in my body called out to photograph, paint, sketch, write and to create. I tried, but it just wasn't right.
Today I went through my old journal, dating back to 1998, searching out an entry to post. I ran into some old sketches I made in 2007 and a faux magazine I recreated on a Word doc. I'm just now realizing that I am artistic in all the ways I've dreamed of being. The only catch is I have to do it my way, to be true to my creative abilities until they grow. I can't be someone else, recreate what God have gifted them with. I have to search deep down and figure out how it works for me, what I love and how I stick to being uniquely me.
I'm sure no one want a copy of what someone else is already doing. People want YOU with all the imperfections and learning curves. So watch out because from now on I'm doing my own thing, as hard as it will be, I'mm be true to what I have to offer.