I've been avoiding this blog for whatever reason, but finally have enough self discipline to sit down and put everything together. This past week has been the wind in my kit that later turned into a complete hurricane. After the high on life feeling I didn't expect to get knocked down a few notches. Despite all that I can be still, amongst my emotional storm, as I breathe in my reminder that God is King over my emotions and life. That means I literally have to take deep breathes every so often to keep myself from crawling out of my skin!
A big reason for this is the silliest of things, but to me its kind of a big deal. I took Toddler for a big boy haircut. Before I talk about how much he's grown in a few short minutes after the haircut, I'd like to explain that hair, for me, is a big deal. I don't let anyone cut my hair and I don't like it when hubby comes home with a fresh new cut. I like hair to be long, curly and beautiful. I just have a thing for hair. So when Toddler gets a big boy cut (second one) I feel like I've just lost my baby until it starts growing out again. Well this time around it hasn't been that easy. With this big boy haircut came his big boy attitude. My 'little' Toddler now has an opinion on everything, yells to get his point across and thinks me to be his servant on top of that 'acts' like a baby and tries to prove that he is one. Can I just say GRRRR! As I type he is yelling at me in his room for me to get him some hot chocolate milk.
I PRAY daily for God to give me the wisdom to raise this child of mine! Being a mommy isn't easy and I'm just the mom for this little man, but man oh man!
Wow, my vent is now over and my emotional state a little more stabilized. It also helps that hubby just plopped down a strawberry Haagen-Dazs in front of me. Let the blissful and silent night begin after I get that hot chocolate milk for that baby of mine.
It's 1am and I should sleeping, but alas I am not! I am on the bed surrounded by books, magazines, sketches, notebooks full of ideas, and pillows while hubby is on the other side of the room typing away at the hotels desk. Despite me being tired and ready for bed I know that once I lay my head on that pillow a billion thoughts will keep me awake and I will toss and turn late (later then now) into the night.
My birthday trip to LA and Palm Dessert have been amazing, but I find my heart is always where home is. I miss my little Toddler man so very much! I love to travel and to getaway, but I love returning home so much more as home is where I am me, welcomes, appreciated and where God has me. Right now he has us in Seattle despite me being a true Californian girl. Anyway, I'm just rambling.
I've done so much research, gathering and reflecting that I am busting at the seams. Coming home will be refreshing as Tuesday will be a day to roll up my sleeves and get those ideas in my camera. The big thing for me this year is now to I show more of God in my work, how do I show people God through my words. I don't want to be 'just another photographer' I want God to use me to touch people and heal them through the beauty He's blessed me with capturing. I want His words to flow out of me and into peoples hearts. THAT is where I want to go this year. I don't want to care who thinks what, if they like it or not and so on. In this process I came up with my one word for this year, that word is... FREE!
It's been a week of 'getting better' in this house and of getting ready for an incredible brand new year. I've been, yet again, slacking after the holidays and still hoping to get back to the swing of blogging in both blogs.
We have a busy week this coming up week as I'll be prepping for a family birthday party for Toddler and myself. The next day after the party hubby and I will be flying out to LA. I get to spend a whole day with a dear friend whom I get to meet for the first time in person! This arrangement has been several years in the making. After we shoot and learn together hubby and I will drive out to Palm Springs for business and pleasure.
One of these days I'll get to blog those things that are upon my heart... which reminds me! This morning as I was doing my bible reading a verse fell upon my heart:
Now the Lord spoke to Paul in the night by a vision, "Do not be afraid, but speak, and do not keep silent; for I am with you, and no one will attack you; for I have many people in this city."
This verse stood out to me as this year I want God to be in my work 100%. I want to be able to take the images He inspires me to take and speak His words through my work. That has been my biggest resolution. Now to hear His voice as he speaks to me about my creativity and His people!
We've been cooped up inside of the house as Toddler is 'getting better'. He's currently working out a cough. His birthday is on the Thursday and I'm hoping he gets 100% better by then. It's been hard for him not to go outside for serval days, but I'd rather have a toddler that's getting better then one that's completely sick. I've made sure that he's had his share of fun inside the house and I'm surprised nothing has broken as soccer has been happening everyday!