This morning I decided to read the book I've been reading for the last six months. I normally love novels and no other books, but I have been teaching myself to read good christian books. This book I am reading is called 'Simply Tuesday' by Emily P. Freeman. It was gifted to me by my best friend a couple of years ago for my birthday. When we were traveling in our airstream, I tried to read it, but quickly put it down.
Back in our traveling days the book didn't fit with my life. I wondered why my friend felt like this was a good book because I had no desire to read it. Now lets fast-forward to 2017. Life looks so different then it did in 2015-2016. We now live in Slovakia, I own a handmade business and I homeschool our 7 year old son. When I cracked open the book again I had no idea it was gifted to me for just this season! The Holy Spirit has used this book, chapter by chapter, to speak into my life. It truly has been one of the best gifts and I thank Stephanie for listening to her heart and gifting it to me.
Today as I opened the book and finished the chapter I was on something struck me and I would like to share it with you.
"John needed Jesus to know he was struggling in prison. I need Jesus to know this too.
The prison of confusion.
The prison of no answers.
The prison of waiting.
As soon as I name these prison cells, I begin to wonder if they aren't prison cells at all.
Maybe the answer isn't in trying so hard to find the light but in being willing to face the fog and remember Christ stands here too.
I need to tell him so, to question him, and to be willing to receive his answers of love, of hope and with-ness that sometimes don't feel like answers at all." p.168-169
All I could say after reading this was, "Wow"! I've been dealing with this prison since July and then when I got answers they were answers of love, of hope and of with-ness, but I wasn't willing to receive that and be still in it. I was better at it yesterday and am slowly getting there. Here is the Holy Spirit speaking to me again and what He wants me to do!!
I have no answers, I am so confused and I am still waiting and waiting, but this has been an answer, just not the one I wanted. Now its time to stand on those faith feet and if I can't stand and walk then I shall crawl my way through this. God is with me and I again and again invite Jesus into this.
Now I shall end this post with pictures from our beautiful family walk in the woods yesterday. My husband wasn't feeling the best, but still took us all out to breath deep, run around and enjoy the cool approaching fall air. Turns our we all needed it.