I'll spend time grieving what would have been, but I'll also spend more time noticing the things I do have, the blessings I've been given and the things that bring joy to my heart. I can never blame God for what happened because He knows best why this happened. I just choose to trust Him and believe the promise He has given us of two more girls in His time. Now that my body is losing all of the pregnancy hormones I am starting to feel more like my old self. I am able to focus on other things other than pregnancy or the fear of losing it.
It's 7:30am and the sun is slowly peeking through the rain clouds. The air is crisp and fresh after last night's rainfall. Today I have three hours of work but have a yarn order to look forward to as I plan to knit a cardigan during these weeks of mourning and grieving. It's something I can do and something I can remember this season by even if it's been a sad and painful one.
My son also has a new pair of Hunter rain boots that are supposed to come today. This is the third pair in one year. That kid really knows how to put holes in his boots. That's the reason we are going with a good brand like Hunter. I hope he likes them.
My only goal for today is to work, knit, photography my day and rest. The acutely miscarrying process hasn't started yet so I'll be waiting for that to happen and until it does I'll just be working, knitting and resting. I don't want to see anyone other than my own family.