Thursday, February 24, 2022

So This Means War

And just like that the world got a little harder to bear overnight. This morning we woke up to the news that Russia has started to bomb Ukraine. The two countries my families come from are at conflict with each other. I have so many thoughts and feelings on this, but before I get lost in them I need to go out on this sunny day with my camera and spend some much needed time with Jesus.

I went out and I've learned that going to the city when I have a full and heavy heart is not a good idea. While I was there I was praying the whole time, taking pictures, but my heart wasn't healing or surrendering. I felt like I was holding my breath and my worries were unchanged. Usually when I have a full or heavy heart my walks are life giving. The city felt like nothing mattered expect its own fortune. Not sure how to really describe how it all felt, but I think this is pretty close. I think that a walk through a quiet neighbourhood street without crowds is more of how my heart heals and surrenders. 

After walking the streets and taking pictures for an hour I got a call from Tín who needed to stay after school to practice with his Drama class that he's in. We planned that I would meet him at his school and together we would go to the cafe in his building. Turns out I arrived an hour early, but I am glad I did. While he was in class I bought a new plant and learned my new camera some more. It seems like I discover new things about my Fujifilm x100v every week. While I was waiting for him for that hour I felt like my heavy heart lifted and things were a bit lighter and in God's hands. In these moments I am thankful I can pray in tongues because my heart isn't ready to focus on words yet. It brings me out of the darkness when I can't.

So to breakdown this whole thing about Ukraine. First off... I have a grandmother, and two grandfather's who are from there. I still have a cousin there and 2 half uncles and a half aunt living in Dnipro, Ukraine. My dad visits them every year expect he had to stop due to Covid. These are my people and my origins. Ukraine is also a neighbour of Slovakia nd my brother is in National Guard whose been deployed since January to Europe. I mean this attack hits close to home in many ways, not just one. I don't know what the months will look like ahead, but I have Jesus. I am also thankful for everyone who is praying. 

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